


What Cersei Taught Her

by StarksInTheNorth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mild Angst, post-Episode s07e01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:46:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22188850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarksInTheNorth/pseuds/StarksInTheNorth
Summary: When a raven arrives from King’s Landing, Sansa thinks of everything she’s learned from Cersei, both the spoken lessons and the subtler ones. (Angsty Jonsa thoughts after 701.)A/N: The dialogue from the first part is ripped straight from the TV show. You have been warned.
Relationships: Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister (mentioned), Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	What Cersei Taught Her

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 2017.

"A raven from King's Landing, Your Grace." The Maester handed Jon a rolled up piece of parchment. He unraveled the sheet as the Maester left. 

Sansa's face fell as he read the words, her throat tightening. 

"Cersei of House Lannister, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms - " He stopped, eyes skimming the page.

Jon thrust the paper into the pocket of his coat and stormed away, Sansa close on his heels. Finally, when they reached the overlook above the main gate into the courtyard, Jon stopped and stared at the wintertown below them. 

"What does she want?" Sansa asked, the worst possible ideas flooding her mind. Cersei wanted her head for Joffrey's death, she knew, but she had told Jon she had no knowing hand in that. Her fiercely red hair blew in a winter's breeze against her face. She looked away to hide her worried frown from Jon's gaze.

He sighed. "Come to King's Landing. Bend the knee or suffer the fate of all traitors."

A moment of silence fell between them.

"You've been so consumed with the enemy to the north, you've forgotten about the one to the south." She knew her judgement was unfair, the Night's King was a true danger, but Sansa had spent too long at Cersei's side to not be fearful of her threats. 

"I'm consumed with the Night King because I've seen him." 

_You've seen Cersei Lannister too_ , Sansa wanted to say. _She's been to Winterfell, she's seen our home. She can always try to seize it again_. 

Sasna looked at Jon again. His eyes were full of more terror than her own were. "And believe me, you'd think of little else if you had, too." 

She swallowed again, trying to compose herself. There was little time for more anger between them. "We still have a wall between us and the Night King. There's nothing between us and Cersei."

"There's a thousand miles between us and Cersei," Jon responded, giving her a look that suggested he thought her stupid. "Winter is here. The Lannisters are a southern army. They've never ranged this far north."

They both stared out at the wintertown now, unable to meet the other's eyes. It sometimes felt as if Jon could barely stand her presence, even now. Even after they had rescued the North from the Boltons together, even after they had hung their family's banners on Winterfell's walls again together, even after they had become each other's home together. Or at least, so Sansa thought.

"You're th military man, but I know her. If you're her enemy, she'll never stop until she's destroyed you. Everyone who's ever crossed her, she's found a way to murder."

He looked at her then, but Jon's next words froze her more than the Night King ever could. "You almost sound as if you admire her."

Sansa looked down and away. It was impossible to explain exactly what her relationship with Cersei Lannister was. "I learned a great deal from her."

But that was like saying the Knights of the Vale had been of _some_ _help_ in the Battle of the Bastards.

Jon left her on the wall, staring out into the falling white skies of winter.

 _A women’s best weapon is between her legs_.

She’d learned that from Cersei, and followed the advice in trying to influence Petyr Baelish. He loved her, in some crude and twisted way. Perhaps it was because she reminded him of her mother, for the light in her eyes and the red glow of her hair. But maybe there was more, some kind of heartfelt fluttter that he actually felt for Sansa the woman and not Sansa the dream.

This she doubted most of all the things she thought of him, for there was little inside Petyr Baelish except for ambition and ashes and rattling coins. For some reason or another, Sansa was to be his prize if ever he claimed the Iron Throne. The idea was repugnant to her.

She held Baelish’s advances at bay with glances and empty promises, although even those were becoming a constant struggle to maintain.

 _When I am Queen, I’ll make them love me_.

The rule of the masses, from trust and generosity. Something that Cersei had not understood, but her disinterest in anything but sowing fear had taught Sansa the lesson nonetheless. It was Lady Margaery’s example that had truly sewn this lesson into her cloak of knowledge. Margaery was kind and warm and gentle, and the people loved her for all these things and more.

She tried this strategy with her suggestion for the strongholds like Karhold, but Jon sought to foster a different kind of bond before their men. His men? It made no sense to think of how he saw this - their fight or that of many? Or just of him?

 _I love you, Jaime_.

And this, the most sinful of her lessons from Cersei Lannister. To love as a Targaryen did. She had not known this lesson as Cersei’s student, but it had grown on her anyway. She had not known what Cersei thought and did with Jaime but it had all come out slowly in the court of Joffrey, their son. She had asked Littlefinger of it once and he had confirmed that was all true, the rumors of their incestuous love. It had come close to destroying Cersei. She could not let it destroy her.

Cersei loved her brother and so to did Sansa, in a complex and intimately frustrating manner that she could never follow through on.

She loved the way his hair fell when he released it from the topknot on his head. She loved the way his grey eyes sparkled when they sat besides a fire. She loved the way he took control, he trusted her sometimes, and the way he stood as King before all the northern men in their father’s hall.

And worst of all, she loved him even though she knew he was her brother. Half-brother, bastard though he may be, Jon Snow is still her blooded kin, the son of her father, the man she loves ins one she cannot have. But it burns, to know that she has found someone kind and gentle and strong, just as Father told her she might someday, and i was someone she could never have.

She flicked a tear from her eye and swallowed all her thoughts of sinful love. 

This was a phase, she swore, this will pass, as her love of Joffrey had. 

All her other suggestions for Jon and attempts to rid herself of Petyr had failed, so why would this lesson of Cersei’s work, besides?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, then come hangout on [tumblr](https://www.starksinthenorth.tumblr.com) to talk about Jonsa, Jonerys, Daensa, OT3, ASOIAF, and GOT. I also take prompts in my [ask box](https://www.starksinthenorth.tumblr.com/ask/).


End file.
